The last month has been somewhat of a roller coaster. In my last post I said that I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt homesick.. I spoke to soon. When I made that statement I felt like I was where I was supposed to be and enjoying every second of it. I was still on a high from Paris (and all set for my next trip to Amsterdam), I had started a new job which I loved and worked with people that I genuinely liked. I had also met a guy who gave me butterflies like I hadn't felt in a long time. But most of all I'd made some marvelous new friends in the short time that I had been here.
Well Amsterdam didn't happen, unfortunately I just couldn't pull the funds together and had to back out last minute. Although it might have been a blessing in disguise because the weekend I was scheduled to fly out my Uncle Roberto from California was flying into London, so I was able to spend a few days with him, my cousin and his girlfriend. I had forgotten how much I loved the city, and when I stepped off the tube and walked around Hyde Park it was like the whole ordeal with the scam,the stress and any other ill feelings had been swept away with the warm spring wind. We spent the whole day walking around the city (well most of it was spent in Harrods) and watched the sun set outside a pub under Big Ben. We stayed in a beautiful hotel overlooking Westminster Bridge, and the night ended with my Uncle and I playing quarters in the posh bar downstairs while getting dirty looks from the bar staff. All around it was pretty much a perfect day. Also, I received an email from my good friend Shane that he would be flying out in June, and what kind of host would I be if I didn't take him to Amsterdam while he was here?!
I am still enjoying work, although my hours have been cut back to almost nothing so I decided to seek additional income elsewhere. I decided that Sky Lounge, a bar situated at the top of the number one hotel in Leeds would be perfect. Full of the beautiful (but only in the glow of the low neon lights, because I have seen some of them in the daylight... not pretty), the rich, and a handful of celebrities. Saturday night a well known football player actually asked me to join him after work in his room, but as tempting as his spray tanned muscles, blinged out ears and posse of neanderthals attached to his side were... I politely declined. After all, this is soccer were talking about, who cares about soccer? Now if Tom Brady were to ask me... hah just kidding.
With the encouragement of some new friends, I have been spending most of my spare time locked up in my room writing songs, albeit somewhat unsuccessfully. I don't know if its my novice guitar playing or just a lack of inspiration but the task has proven to be much more difficult than I expected. I have no problem opening up my laptop and writing on and on about my day to day life in my blog, but when it comes to scaling it all down to a catchy yet meaningful tune, I often find myself completely lost. I performed one of my songs at the open mic night last Wednesday and to my surprise it received a very warm response. There were only about five people there, but nonetheless they liked it dammit! The only thing I try to remember is not to be too critical of myself, everyone starts out somewhere, and although I wouldn't release it as my first single... it felt really good to play something that I had written from start to finish.
So I'm sure you are all wondering about this guy. Well he came into my work one day and offered to take me out around Leeds, and what can I say, we hit it off. He was a handsome English boy, extremely charming.. .and he made me laugh. We were having fun, and I hadn't really thought about my feelings for him until a few weeks after we had started talking, but I really liked him. What the hell, I thought to myself, I am only here for another 6 months I might as well just tell him how I feel... whats the worst that could happen? Well the worst that could happen is he tells you that he doesn't feel the same way and then completely stops talking to you, but not only that, he lives right next to your work so you have to see him all the time which is a constant reminder that you made a complete idiot of yourself. He told me he didn't want a girlfriend at the moment, what is it with guys, you tell them you like them and they think you want a relationship. I guess I should have rephrased my profession to “I think your a really cool guy and I like spending time with you and would like to get to know you better”? But anyone that knows me knows that I can sometimes be a bit too honest and I speak without thinking things through so I just went with “I like you”. Oh well, at the end of the day all I can do is just be me... and sometimes people are not going to feel the same way about you that you feel about them, and that's ok :) On a side note, is nineteen too young? Like hypothetically speaking, say I met a really cute and interesting guy who just happens to be nineteen, would that be too young? Please leave your thoughts in the comment box below... thank you.
The worst thing to happen in the last month is the screen on my laptop breaking. Three weeks... THREE WEEKS without a laptop. Normally this wouldn't bother me, but being all the way over here it is really the only way I have to communicate with my family and friends back home. Not being able to gossip with my best friend, or to being able to confide in my mom has been hard. The low point was not being able to speak to my brother on his 21st birthday. I don't know how my mom moved all the way across the world at 21 in a time when you couldn't click a button and see the faces of all the people you loved. I have come to the conclusion that she is just a much stronger person than I am. Although I have made some incredible friends here that I know are always down for a night out, it has been difficult and bit lonely lonely not having anyone to talk to. Luckily I have the most amazing Dad in the world who put a laptop on a plane (along with my uncle) and sent it straight away.
I know there are going to be ups and downs during my travels, and I am trying to keep my head up and stay positive. Over the next couple of months I am going to be saving saving saving! Not only for my trips over the summer, but for a plane ticket home in the fall :) I still cant believe I have been here for seven months, with the winter months behind me I have no doubt that the best is yet to come....
xoxo
Danielle
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